Bad Text Behaviour (BTB)
BTB 1) Mr Muscles was seeing two girls at the same time, one was his girlfriend (GF) the other the girl he was cheating (C) on her with. Mr Muscles’ girlfriend was away on a girlie weekend. If only Mr Muscles had less muscle and more brain he might not have made the following text mistake:
Mr Muscles (sent to GF): Have a good trip baby. See you on Sunday. x
GF: Don’t miss me too much baby. Call you later. Luv u xx
Mr Muscles (sent to C 2 min later): Can’t wait to fuck you later. What time you coming round sexy?
BTB 2) Sassy was in an exclusive relationship with a UK rapper after meeting overseas a few years ago. He’d recently flown to Sydney to stay with her and they talked every night on skype. After not hearing from him for an entire week, leaving numerous voicemails and unanswered texts the following excuses may have been assumed:
a) He somehow lost her phone number, email address, twitter account and Facebook contact.
b) Kayne West flew in to perform with him and they went on a weeklong bender in a pimped out place with no reception or computer access.
c) He decided the pressures of a long distance relationship was too much and couldn’t face telling Sassy.
d) He fell into the crowd at a gig and a crazy fan kidnapped him.
What really happened? This is the text conversation that followed:
Naughty Rapper: I’m not a cunt I’ve been in jail and only got my chip back with all my numbers It’s 3.30am. Sorry for letting u down. Just carry on with your life. I’m prob better off out of it.
Sassy: I don’t know what to say back to that…phone call would have been good, but I know what I mean to u now so it doesn’t really matter. Glad ur alive. Oh and I am getting on with life.
Naughty Rapper: Alright but I didn’t mean it like that. And my mum tried to call you but couldn’t get my phone from the authorities. I’ll leave you be if you would like?
Sassy: I’m at work and really can’t be texting u about this now. Call me if u want, after 530 today or tomo after 2pm
Naughty Rapper: Plus I was on everyone which is so far from where I live. All over a fight. If you’ve moved on then I’ll have to take it. I’ve literally just walked through the door got let out of the nicked at a gig then let out then nicked again but my friend stepped in and it’s been thrown out. I had my mum looking for your number but poor girl can’t work a computer. Just hope you’re happy. I’ll have to deal with it and for the record you’re the first person I’ve text. Tried to call but I’ve just paid the bill and it could take 24 hours before I can make a call. X
Following what is clearly an insane message from Naughty Rapper, Sassy quickly moved on and is now seeing a sexy, non-excuse making photographer.
BTB 3) Mr Property Developer (Mr PD) had been asking Leggy out for months and despite his arrogant nature she finally decided to date him, mainly for the nice dinners at plush restaurants around town. His constant mean and derogatory behavior to others and self inflation kept escalating. After a 3 week holiday and having cleared her head Leggy decided it was over with Mr PD. This was the text conversation that followed:
Leggy: Hey I’m back. Did a lot of soul searching while I was away and decided I’m not ready for relationship. Bump into you soon I’m sure. Take care.
Mr PD: I put your rag shorts in the letterbox you can come and get them whenever you like
Leggy: Ok then…
Mr PD: Why don’t you just say what you really mean?
Leggy: Ok…you’re the most pretentious person I’ve ever met.
Mr PD: You’re an immature child who thinks everything is about her.
Leggy: You’re a bad person with no friends
Mr PD: Grow up child
Leggy: You’re going to die alone
Mr PD and Leggy constantly bump into each other around Bondi, both pretend they don’t know each other.
BTB 4) Missy had been sleeping with Mr Alpha for a few months and whilst things were casual, they lived only minutes away from each other and were hooking up regularly. Missy went away over Christmas for a week and the day she got back the following text conversation happened:
Mr Alpha: You back in town yet babe?
Missy: Sure am babe. At Paddo Inn having drinks, wat u upto?
Mr Alpha: Boozing up with my bros at my place but a couple of my French mates leaving for Paris tomorrow so catching up with them later 2night
Missy: Cool have fun x
Mr Alpha: Missed your crazy ass girl been 2 long between visits x
Missy: I know when we gonna catch up?
Mr Alpha: As soon as I’ve been walking round with a hard on 4 2 long x
Missy: Haha well we will have to fix that wont we?
Mr Alpha: My cock your mouth?
Missy: Ooh yeah can’t wait to fuck…
What happened next?
a) Mr Alpha drove straight to the Paddington Inn grabbed Missy and they has sex in the bathroom.
b) Mr Alpha hung out with his friends that night but booked a hotel room at the Hilton the following night where they spent hours drinking Moet and having sex in a hot tub.
c) Nothing.
d) It was in fact Mr Alphas brother who had grabbed his phone and started sending dirty text messages.
What do you think happened?
Category: Technology
