Being a single girl in Sydney is fun, fantastic and fabulous…that is until you add a few bad men!
Spring has sprung, the days are getting warmer and it seems we are entering toad season. The dregs of male society are out of hibernation and here to play. This post goes out to my female readership: these true stories have happened to girlfriends of mine recently. You have to giggle at just how bad some guys really are! Enjoy.
C is for Chef. C is for Cheater. C is for Considering Yourself Lucky He’s Not Your Boyfriend!
My friend Missy recently met a chef through her work. He’d been messaging her for a few months and there was obvious chemistry. He wasn’t her usual type but there is something very sexy about a man who can cook. They’d made plans to catch up for a mid-week drink. The Sunday night before their date Missy was out with friends and unexpectedly bumped into Mr Chef. Her plans to play it cool were slightly railroaded by numerous cocktails and before we knew it she was sharing a cheeky pash in the corner and sneaking out the back door…Mr Chef in tow.
Having had little sleep the night before Missy was still sleepy-eyed when she checked her Facebook the next morning at work. Only two sips into her morning coffee she almost choked when the first thing to pop up was Mr Chef tagged in a week old photo album of another girl’s birthday. He was happily coupled up and sharing passionate moments including a very visual birthday kiss. It seems Mr Chef had been leading a double life. The delightful, affectionate boyfriend by day, player by night!
What’s a girl to do?
A) Message the girl and break the news her boyfriend is a cheating dirt bag?
B) Call the guy and give him a piece of her mind?
C) Post images of the guy on the net under the heading ‘CHEATING LOSER’ with back links to his restaurant?
D) Go on a date the next day with a sexy guy and get on with life…at least he doesn’t work at a hated restaurant.
A Great Lesson in Exit Strategies- How to Exit a Bad Date
Twiggy met a guy recently at a bar. He was cute and seemed like a nice guy so she gave him her number. The next day he called and asked her out to The Ivy for dinner.
Thirty minutes into the date alarm bells rang when she realised she hadn’t said a single word and the entire conversation had been all about him and how much he loved Richard Branson and Anthony Robbins. On the brink of falling asleep Twiggy excused herself and went to the bathroom to plan her exit strategy.
Ready to use the “I forgot to feed my cat line” she came back to find her date had already settled the bill and was waiting out front. Having not yet finished her meal she thought this was odd. Not as odd as the words that then came out of his mouth: “come on let’s go, one of my favourite motivational speakers is on at The Menzies and if we hurry we can catch the end of it”.
Twiggy wasn’t sure whether to be offended or amused. She’d never had anyone stop a dinner date half way through to watch a motivational speaker. She should have left right then and there but thought it would make for a good story. How often do you spend a Tuesday night date sitting amongst a group of mum and dad small business owners listening to a man talk about exit strategies in business? Rather ironic considering her own lack of tact in exiting possibly #theworldsmostboringdate.
If At First You Don’t Succeed…Try, Try And Then Ask Her Sister Out!
My friend Blondie is a gorgeous, tall, busty blonde, the kind of girl who turns heads when we walk into a bar. You’d think she gets loads of great guys…but she too has kissed a few toads in her time. She recently met someone who was charming and seemed like a ‘nice’ guy out one night. He took her number and asked her out for dinner the following night. The next day he called and cancelled because he couldn’t get out of work (banker). He rescheduled for later that week. Again he cancelled last minute. Blondie should have written things off at this point but he was persistent and was calling and messaging everyday, it was obvious he was keen.
Finally after speaking almost every day for a month they went on that date. He was obviously trying to impress her and spent most of the night talking about his car, house, job, ordering expensive bottles of wine and plying her with cocktails. They went back to his place and the next morning he made plans with her to catch up the following night for dinner. He never called. Ever.
Five months later Blondie was out at a bar with her gorgeous younger sister. She returned from the bathroom to find none other than Mr Banker Wanker chatting her up. Perhaps it was the cocktails or maybe she was just over ass-hole guys in Sydney but Blondie walked up to Mr BW, picked up her drink and splashed it right in his face. She left with her sister and explained on the way leaving the stunned Banker Wanker standing alone. Any sane man would take that as a hint and become scarce, but the next day Blondie’s sister received this text:
“Hey I know last night was a bit awkward with your sister but I was wondering if I can take you out for dinner tonight”
*NOTE: Not all men in Sydney are so terrible…most of them are lovely and even the bad ones can change. To leave things on a positive note here’s a text message I received a few days ago from a guy I know that “would never settle down” and has been with a lovely Kiwi girl for the past few years:
“Hi everyone, just wanted to say hello and let you know I’m sitting here looking at Mt Everest with my new fiancé” aaawwww